May His Noodly Appendage touch you with His saucy wisdom. Ramen.
He created the universe after drinking heavily. This is why the Earth is shaped like a ball, because He was too tipsy to make it flat.
Heaven has a beer volcano and a stripper factory. Hell is similar, but the beer is stale and the strippers have STDs.
Full pirate regalia is the official dress code. Global warming correlates directly with the decline in pirate population.
(Yes, this is actual science. Don't look it up.)
Every Friday is a religious holiday in Pastafarianism. This is not by coincidence – it's scientifically proven that weekends start with His Noodly blessing.